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水仙轩

We are the champions,my friends!

 
 
 

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A girl with inner hope and overwhelming passion for life. Love for literature as an engineer.

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Hope  

2013-06-03 12:51:57|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Tracing back to when I was really young, say in middle school, I seldom think of the word hope. I didn't realize that I need something special spiritually to keep going. I just kept going on and on like I was never gonna be feeling even a little bit tired. One of my elder sister who lived in the room next to us told my mother that the fact that I was so energetic everyday always made her feel like I was looking forward to something everyday constantly. The fact was true. But honestly, I was too young to know what I was looking forward to at that time. I was a good kid who had a good habit of studying hard and making my mother happy. And that's how I grow up. Hope was not a special word to me at that age.

When I was a senior in high school, months before the college entrance exam, I experienced various negative feelings, anxiety, inconfidence, worry, fear etc. Not because I was fear of the exam since I was always an academically excellent student, but more out of the feeling that I was controlled by the negative part now and then. I used to wonder how was I going to survive this kind of feeling and what would be the final destination college for me if I kept living life like this. However, three things gave me hope. One was the fact that mom was always trying her best to accompany me whenever her work was not that busy, making me delicious food and preserve them for the coming week. That's why I felt so bad and even cried by myself once when I found out that the buns she made had gone bad because I didn't eat them earlier. Secondly, there was a barber shop along the way that I went to school. And the advertisement it used had the picture of Chang Jin printed. She was a character from a novel and later the No.1 character of a Korean TV series and has become very popular at that time after it was translated into Chinese. People like her out of different reasons, she can make delicious food, she is kind-hearted in front of political fights in ancient times, she strived hard to realize hers as well as her dead mother's goal etc. I simply love her because of the way that hope was interpreted through whatever she did. One of the elders once commented that she was a seed full of hope so that even you plant it on top of ice, she would still grow very beautiful flowers. That's why passing that barber shop and seeing her picture in the ad everyday gave me constant hope. Third was the plant that grown along the way. In the early spring, it began to grow and was just so full of life. I saw the insight of hope from the plant. That was when nature told me to grow strong and be hopeful. At last, I survived that unforgetable piece of life and went on to where I am today.

Tonight, while driving over the route bring me from Morgantown to Columbus, I rethink of the word hope. The familiar route close to Morgantown gave me hope every time I came close, especially the WVU stadium. Just don't want to leave. It is the hope that none of us need to leave that keeps me going. It is the hope of always staying together that sustains my biggest happiness. Work and schools are ahead of me every time I drive back since my staying in WV never accelerated my work physically. But it always gives me hope mentally. The man who stayed there makes that place home. And going back home is the sweetest thing in this foreign country.

At the same time, mum is staying alone in another country. She told me one time this year when she was visiting me here in US that it was her hope to keep the light on whenever I come back home. My home is a small town in Gansu province, China and the most familiar, peaceful and beautiful place in my mind. I really hope that I am have some free time to go back China and see that light mum kept on for me, making her all the food I learned to cook here, making her feel that waiting and anticipation is not for nothing. I miss mum and really don't want to keep her alone. 

I hope that I can keep going like when I was really young without any reason. But hope is now so strong that I cannot keep going without thinking it. When you grow up and get older, you just cannot go back. But still, there are some good traits I can keep I believe. 

Don't let busy life distracted me so much that I forget where I came from, who I am and where I want to go.
Keep my hope and earn it.

That is the thing. Hope is one of the most beautiful things in the world but it oftentimes doesn't come easy. It can also be fragile so you need the strongest mind to protect it and make it into solid reality. It takes bravery to realize a beautiful hope. The gut to face up to things you want to avoid, to facts you want to deny, to obstacles you imagines yourself, and to really road blocks that keep you from reaching the destination. 

The journey is no cake-walk. But hope makes life so much fun.

My friends, hope all of you had your hopes come true. Good night!
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