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水仙轩

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A girl with inner hope and overwhelming passion for life. Love for literature as an engineer.

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Turning Point on Its Way  

2013-09-02 07:43:35|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Ending another summer internship, I headed back to Cincinnati. Wanting so much to graduate so to leave Cincinnati, I accommodated myself temporarily at a friend's place. It is a one-bedroom apartment where we lay two twin beds in the living room and my luggage there as well. My friend also stored a large amount of her stuff which makes this place more like a homely warehouse. However, I felt good since I no longer care about creating a perfectly pleasant living space, instead, I want the environment to be harsh so to force myself leaving quickly. It just can not be too quick. Honestly, the place is still good although like a warehouse. We cook nice food, drink red wine before going to bed, and my roommate is a nice person to my taste. Still, every nerve of my body is hoping to accelerate my departure from graduate school.

The first turning point came when my advisor took the initiative and talked with my about scheduling defense. With restudying my thesis material, I gradually begin to see new hope in finishing the study with the method slightly changed from the previous. After this, I tried everything to push my defense earlier and earlier. Finally, October 15 is probably the date.

The second turing point came when a phone call came while I was lying in bed because of severe cold. It was Tom from my internship company calling me back to have an interview with my two managers. My manager told me that he will seriously consider my application and it really did not occur to me that it will be this soon. Dealing with companies makes me kind of getting used to inquiry without response. It is annoying but a habit to avoid disappoint yourself too much because seriously, most of the time, nobody cares. I don't know what will happen next, but at least there is hope. Let me prepare and hope that this will end my days of customizing cover letter and resume for every potential job opportunity.

After coming to the US, sometimes life just becomes so hard that I do not dare to hope for many things. I have to think practically and plan for everything because if I don't plan, things I dreamed never happen. I want to go travel, but I know I cannot go right now because I need to plan for an impossible vocation required by my research responsibility. Several days of leisure time is so precious to wish for. Easily, I became tired during the weekend and cannot get enough rest. 

How I miss the past college days when bmp took me to different places for fun and I just plan nothing. Xiaoyang was right that I plan for nothing but it was so much fun. But now, even the hope of seeing him everyday is a dream that I need to keep faith to believe in but not dare to think that it will become true soon because I just cannot disappoint myself again and again with a false hope. Still, I hope it can become true very soon.

How I want to come home once before starting my career in US because I am not sure when is the next time I can go home. Surviving in US is not easy. Besides ability to succeed, I also need to bare the patience to make sure visa status is valid. This is now stopping so many foreign people is US from visiting back home.

Turing point is on its way and there are hopes to strive for.
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